Awhile ago I started a little thing with my kids to help them feel comfortable with their feelings. They have been struggling with their beliefs in God and who and what is this person we call God. Doesn't seem like he loves us too much or he'd make our daddy come home. Breaks my heart. I tell them, it's not because God is making daddy do this, it's a choice daddy has made and only he can listen to God and change it. So we started writing down our prayers on papers and we slip them into a decorated shoebox we call....."Heaven's Mailbox". In hopes that if we took the feelings from our heart and placed them on paper and mailed them to heaven maybe just maybe one will get answered. Please help me send these prayers up to the heaven's for them. If anything....a little happiness.
Carter..."Dear God, I am sad and I am mad..Amen"
Emily...."Dear God, please help me to get along with my brother. Please help keep us safe during the day and night. Please help my daddy come back home, we miss him and love him. Give him more baby steps toward us. Amen...Emily"
Cohen...."Cohen miss daddy, where daddy go"
I wish I could answer these prayers for them. To stop the hurt. It tears me up inside to hear my kids say they don't feel like they are loved. They talk about how they miss the good days, the days their daddy was home and how sad they are that he isn't here anymore. How much we all miss the good times. But those times are gone and according to Justin, they are gone forever. Too bad, it would have made a wonderful story of a man finding his way back home....the prodigal husband, the human being. But it's not like that. Everyday I have to look at my kids, see their hurt and try not to cry and tell them don't worry everything will be ok, we are still a family and mommy will do her best always. But as hard as they try....it's not good enough.
Kids do not deserve this. Divorce is such a selfish selfish act. I dont' care what the circumstance, marriage should be of great importance, it's a committment, it's a privilege, a reminder that we are to reflect God's love to the other human being...remind them everyday by acting the way God would act. In love! But nope, very seldom is it like that. Which is Horsedung if you ask me. Who suffers, the one left broken hearted and the children. All a child wants is for happy parents, loving parents and a good life. Sure everyone is going to have their own type of pain however as parents we shouldn't go about and deliberately create it. We are supposed to protect them not expose them. Teach them strength, courage, determination, love, compassion, , and committment
How can you teach them strength when you are weak, courage when you're a coward, determination when you give up, love when you hate, compassion when you don't feel, and committment............ when you divorce.
4 comments:
You are very right about how as parents we are to teach our children strength,love courage etc.
It is very hard as your mom and their grandmother see how all of you are suffering so much. Moms want to fix everything. You are doing a very good job and should be very prould of yourself for how you are handling this horrible situation. I am very Proud of you.
As I have been on my suffering journey the lessons of life are very tough to learn. Strength comes from the Lord,by praying,reading the bible and just being quiet (in the moment) with the Lord.
One of the lessons we can learn from our suffering is, we are on a journey or holiday as some would say. The destination is what we should focus on. How we travel on the road to Heaven (which is the destination for all) is very important because any wrong turn could result in a destination we don't want to end up in.
SO I SAY TO ALL OF YOU READING THIS BOLG AND COMMENT!
Live for the Lord. Love for the Lord. Do for the Lord.
By taking the focus off of our problems and putting God first we start to live a life looking at the wonderful blessings we have.
Emily,Carter,Cohen, and Brady are Great gifts and blessings.
I Love all of You
May God Bless You and keep you safe in his arms!
We teach them all these things by being real... praying with them for God to make us better moms and letting them know the secret with God is that he loves us inspite of all those things we aren't... he loves us more when we are weak and honest then when we are strong in self and dishonest about our hearts state. Your letters are beautiful and I will continue praying for your babies hearts. Your babies are beautifully honest and it might be hard to hear but praise God that they are honest and not just harboring all this pain till it turns into anger... LOVE YOU GUYS!
I agree with you completely on marriage. I also believe that it is a life long commitment that people take to lightly.
You know I am not an absolute believer in the Lord, but I will pray with all that I have for you and your kids. I want you to remember how much you give them and that they are happy and very strong little people. Every smile on their face is because of their Mommy and you should take pride in that. You are a good person. Everything will settle in time and happiness will be in your life again when the time is right. Take the time you need now to heal from this and focus on how wonderful your kids are and how lucky you all are to have each other.
Hugs to all of you
Carissa, this post immediately brought tears to my eyes. I feel for you and your children, they are so precious and their prayers are so honest and real like Becky said. I will keep them and you in my prayers. You are doing the best that you can, you are teaching them everything in your power, and doing an amazing job. You are teaching them to perservere through hard times, to trust God even when you're weak and to be strong and never give up. I love you!! When I get home from the lake we will get together.
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