The river was high and I was blind

but

Jesus is helping me see and making me feel like I can walk on water

:)

I'm not perfect nor will I pretend to be, however I am determined and motivated. My mom said something to me the other day that really struck a chord.....life is just passing us by. It is....quickly. Before I know it my kids will be all grown up and moved out and I don't want to look back and see how we spent all our time grieving over the loss of some man/father that has no feelings towards us anyways. So why should we. Does it still hurt, yes, it doesn't go away real fast however one learns to cope better and heal. I want to be happy and sha re that happiness, I want to be loved and love and I want to exist. I have learned happiness does not come from another man, I have become very content with my own time and life and knowing that I can manage perfectly fine on my own with 4 children. However it would be lovely to share life with another....one day. For now I know that I am ready. I am ready to move on and take the steps to finally put an end to this madness. My Valentine's gift to myself. I feel so sure and strong as to what I need and want to do. As long as I am I am sure my kids will soon follow. As I believe it's time to let our heavenly father have full control at being the parent, the ultimate provider. More of me letting go of any control over the situation I thought I had and realize I have none. And it's a good feeling to know that I don't and to be honest I'm so excited. The past few days I feel so ready and excited, it just hit me like a ton of bricks. And ya....... it's a woohoo moment :)